“ Being scared is not bad, as long as the fear is not paralyzing you”. – Dr. Atanu Biswas.
It was said by one of my professors in medical school, Dr.Atanu Biswas when I was having those last moment exam-panic attacks ! The best part of being in a place like my college, where such enlightened erudite souls come together is, you come as an empty container with a lot of idiocy, dullness and mindlessness and when you leave you are so full of knowledge, thoughts, worldliness, sagacity, wisdom and savoir faire !
Like every individual on this globe, there have been a lot of ups and downs in my life. I might write blogs on optimism, fearless attitude and weirdly comforting experiences, but this is infact, the outcome of many years of disaccord and fear. Yes I was scared ! Scared to love. Scared to try. Scared to fail. Scared of being made fun of. Scared of tomorrow. Scared of the aftermath.
I have been so insecure and unsure all my life about a lot of things. If I could ever become a doctor? If I could become a better human being, so that everyone who crossed paths with me, loved the essence of my soul ? If I could please everyone who believed in the pea sized, miniscule goodness in me? If people didn’t accept the sinner, the evil in me? If they’ll leave knowing the rawness of my naked soul? If I was enough for someone ? If I should tell him that I liked him? What if he rejects me ? What if I try and I fail, just like the thousands failing everyday ?
But what if I try hard and succeed ! But what if I study harder and become a surgeon ! But what if I improvise and become a better version of myself with every passing day ! But what if people see and recognize the goodness in me ! But what if they see the evil, the sinner in me and still choose to keep me ! But what if I was the only thing keeping someone alive, the reason behind someone’s existence ! But what if he likes me whole heartedly, but is too afraid to tell or reciprocate ! But even if he rejects me, I can live with the peace, the solace in my heart that I tried. It was the best I could do ! But what if I win ! But what if I don’t fail today ! But what if I succeed today and become a motivation tomorrow for a lost soul who is as scared, as afraid, as I was at some point in my life !
“What and If, two words as non threatening as words can be. But if put together, they have the power to haunt you for the rest of your life”.
Don’t let your fears demoralize you. Don’t let them paralyse you. Don’t let them limit you. Don’t let them blind you. Dont let them capture you. Face them. Fearlessly. With grace. With hope. I can’t really tell anything about the outcome. But I can gurantee strength ! I can gurantee peace ! I can gurantee confidence !
Dont trust your fears, for they surely don’t know how strong you can be.
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